I’m here chewing my nails, and watching a clip from a Wayne Dyer video I downloaded a while back. Excitement and terror are jostling for space in my mind. Excitement – I finally sent the first draft of my book to a content editor. Terror – I finally sent the first draft of my book to a content editor. I actually sent it to a “Book Shaman”…but more on that later.
This particular video is part of a series he did called “Writing From Your Soul.” For some reason, I clicked on it this morning while in the waiting room for an appointment. I’ve just gone through the process of reliving my past, and more importantly, trying to translate it into some readable form that could someday help someone. This has been in my heart for a long time. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Dr. Dyer’s words struck home.
Everyone has a soul. That thing we have that’s like no-one else’s. It’s a hard thing to define and even harder to study or understand. But everyone has one. And, everyone’s is different. It’s that part of ourself that knows, deep down, who we are and what we really want to be. It’s that voice that tries to lead us toward our true self, our best self. Why do we ignore it?
Many reasons, I suppose. But mostly fear. Fear keeps us from reaching out, taking the leap, taking the long shot, taking a chance, and in many cases, following our true path. Security keeps us in a box. It keeps us on the safe path. But security is forever tied to fear. Security is fear. Security is the thing we reach for when we get a little too close to the edge. It’s that person, place, or thing that we gravitate toward when things get dicey. It’s that blanket we cover our eyes with when the monsters are near. There can be no security without fear.
Since getting sober a little over twenty-four years ago, I’ve been trying to figure out what my soul really wants me to do. What is my true path? I’ve known for the entire twenty-four years that I am supposed to write this book. My soul knows. My soul has been trying to get me to listen. But, I’ve been ignoring it. Ignoring the book. Ignoring a calling.
Listening to this clip, I realized that very few of us actually have the courage to FOLLOW OUR SOUL. We may have courage, but this is on a different level. This book had been rustling around in my chest for years. I thought about writing it. I talked about writing it. I even started writing it a couple of times. But, I didn’t have that kind of courage. Fear won. Fear of telling my story. Fear that people won’t like it. Fear that I’m not a “real” writer. Basic fear of failure. My fear has a strong voice. When I’m afraid, my negative self-talk sometimes drowns out my dreams and aspirations.
Today, I’m following my soul. I’m writing this book. It’s supposed to happen. I know it. My soul has always known it.
Our time walking around in these human shells is short. Your soul knows who you are. Your soul knows what you’re really supposed to be doing. Listen to it. Have the courage to follow it!